stepparenting

As I grow closer and closer to my step-daughter, I have to constantly remind myself that I am not her mother, or at least her biological mother. I must admit, there have been many days when I actually feel like my step-daughter’s mother. My step-daughter and I have developed quite a fond relationship with each other and it is very easy for me to slip into the “mother” role of this child. However, I have to remind myself that I am not her mother. I am her step-mother!

This plays out mostly in the discipline arena. There have been many instances where my step-daughter will do something inappropriate and punishment should happen. Though my husband has given me permission to impose proper punishment for the smaller things, I need to remember that ultimately, he is the disciplinarian and I back up his decisions. When it comes to consequences for certain actions (such as no TV because she lied about cleaning her room), I can put my foot down. But, when it comes to major punishment (being grounded for throwing a temper tantrum) I need to leave that up to her biological parent(s).

I cannot and will not take the place of my step-daughter’s mother. She has a special bond with that woman and there is nothing that can replace that. So remember, you are not the biological parent, so don’t act like one! You can, however, act like a step-parent and love, raise and support your step-child and family the best you can!

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